Reset

Y'all - what a super weird season we are living in.  And there are so many emotions and worries and fears that seem to flood my heart and mind all day long.  I had time to talk to my counselor on Monday and one word she kept using was "reset" and that stuck with me.

Reset (verb) - to set, adjust, or fix in a new or different way

She and her family live in Europe, I was living in East Africa, but am temporarily back in the U.S. but this current pandemic is impacting the ENTIRE world.  She helped me process through the emotions of living a disrupted life right now.  We all are.  All of our schedules and routines have been greatly disrupted and some of us are coping with that better than others.  Some of us have embraced this slowed down, quiet season and others of us are climbing the walls.  Wherever you fall in that spectrum, first let me remind you that it is okay to feel however you feel.  None of us have ever done this before so we are just trying to figure things out one day at a time... one hour at a time.  And I have found that my emotions can change multiple times throughout the day - and that is okay.  

My counselor talked about how the world is being reset right now and it started me thinking about what the Lord wanted to reset in my life right now.  Remember 8,329 days ago when it was January 1st and we all had high hopes for 2020 and goals and plans for being intentional and driven this year - and then March came and hit the pause button on literally every single thing.  I took some time over the weekend to look back at my prayers and goals for this year and reset my focus on some things that I felt the Lord was calling me to be intentional with during this time.  I don't know what that might be for you - maybe it's something new you wanted to start this year, maybe it's a rhythm you wanted to put into place, maybe it's something you wanted to learn more about... whatever it is, maybe the Lord is also calling you to reset your focus or maybe in this season He has brought something else before you that He wants you to press into.  Do it.  Take one step today.  How great would it be if we came out on the other side of this with growth and depth in areas of our lives that need a reset.  

What is something the Lord is calling you to reset right now?

Fix Your Eyes

To fix your eyes on something is to lock your eyes so they cannot be distracted by things in your periphery. Lately I have been reflecting on the story of Jesus walking on the water and later calling Peter to join him. If you are not familiar with this story, check out Matthew 14:22-33. Basically, Jesus sent the disciples on ahead of him in a boat while he finished dismissing the crowds and took a little alone time to pray. During this time, the disciples’ boat was carried off a long way. So in the middle of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the water. Of course they freaked out and thought he was a ghost. Peter told him that if he truly was Jesus, to command him to come to him on the water. Jesus simply said, “Come.”

“So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ “ – Matthew 14:29-30

Immediately Jesus rescues Peter and walks with him back to the boat. When they get into the boat, the wind stops and the disciples can’t help but worship Him as the true Son of God.

In these 11 verses there is so much rich truth that has really stuck with me.

1) Jesus took time to be alone. “He went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” In the current season I find myself in, I have noticed that I desire more time alone. I am an extrovert, but lately I have wanted more time to be quiet and still before the Lord. Silence and solitude and Sabbath are all things I am learning to put into practice. Those are all things that are hard for me, but they help to replenish my soul, which I desperately need!

2) Peter got out of the boat. I can’t imagine what must have been going through his mind. Was he excited? Was he nervous? Was he afraid? I think I would have been a combination of all of those feelings! But, despite what was going through his head, he got out of the boat. He put his foot down on the surface of the water and in that moment his faith was greater than his fear. Is Jesus calling you to get out of your comfort zone? Is he saying, “Come.”? I think I would have quickly been worried about what other people would think if I fail. What if I look like an idiot when this doesn’t work? But it sounds like Peter didn’t even give time for those thoughts to register. Jesus said, “Come” and he got out of the boat.

3) BUT. The word “but” in a sentence signals that we are about to read the opposite. He was walking on the water! He was walking toward Jesus! And then came the “BUT”. “But, when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ “ And just like that, his fear took over his faith. How many times have I done the very same thing? I feel brave. I feel obedient. BUT then circumstances or people make waves around me and instead of locking my eyes on Jesus, I look down. And I begin to sink like a rock. What would have happened if Peter had fixed his eyes on Jesus? How would this story have been different? How many of us made bold steps forward on January 1, but we’ve already started fearing the wind and worrying about the waves just a few weeks later? What is the “wind” swirling around you right now that has caused you to take your eyes off Jesus?

4) When we cry out to Jesus, He saves us immediately - in His time. “Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him…” Now, Peter may have felt like those seconds when he was sinking lasted an eternity, but the Bible says Jesus immediately reached out his hand. There have been many times in my life where I wondered if Jesus would ever bring rescue or restoration. The sinking seemed to last years, not seconds, but one thing I have learned is that He is faithful and I can trust Him even when His timing doesn’t make sense to me. I also see that there have been many times when I have waited way too long to cry out to Jesus. I am trying to create a new rhythm in my life where He is the first one I run to. That is not always my natural tendency, but in His arms is the only place I find the peace, comfort, and clarity that my soul desperately longs for.

So, let's get out of the boat.  And let's fix our eyes on Jesus in the midst of the wind and waves that will surely come.  

Persist

Happy New Year!  I love the beginning of a new year and the hope that brings. It is like opening up to the first blank page of a journal and knowing that there is the opportunity to fill those pages with amazing experiences and lessons. The past few years I have taken some time to reflect on the previous year, while also dreaming about the possibilities in the new year. Last year I chose a verse for the year, but this year I have chosen a word… Persist. The Lord started a lot of work in me over this past year that I want to continue in. 

Persist - continue firmly or obstinately in an opinion or a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or failure

Synonyms: persevere, keep at it, see/follow something through, press on/ahead, be tenacious, be patient, stand one's ground, stay the course, struggle on

What if this year was marked by persistence?  What if this time next year I was full of awe and wonder at all the Lord was able to do in and through me because I chose to continue firmly in spite of difficulty and failure?  What if on the hard days I chose to press on?  What if I chose to be tenacious in every area of my life?  How much more could I grow and see others around me grow if I decided right now in this moment that this year I will persevere?  

Do you have a word for your year?  If so, I'd love to know what it is!  

Seasons Past

I have been reading through a wonderful little book over the past week called Cultivate (Vol. 2) - The Clarity Winter Brings.  The following is one of the writings that spoke so much to my overwhelmed and weary soul in this season.  

Interested in purchasing your own copy?  Click HERE.

Seasons Past - by Jessie Miller 

Do you ever compare the season your heart is in now to the seasons past? Do you find yourself thinking back to a season where you felt more “together” than you do right now? Perhaps there was a time in your life when you felt like the Lord spoke to you more, or at least you listened better. Maybe your quiet time has changed its form, or your role in a community has shifted and it has left you with a feeling of guilt or shame. This guilt says that there was a time when you were able to give the Lord what He wanted, and that is no longer the case. We label ourselves as failures and falsely believe that the Lord agrees. We as humans have a desire to classify everything based on what we “know.” When something new arises, we want to connect it to things we have experienced in some way before. I believe this desire goes back to the Garden. God said, “Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:17). He knew it would be too much for us. But we did it anyway, and now we try to classify everything we experience as one or the other—good or evil, success or failure. Our perspective is so small. We can’t see the bigger picture, the “all things working together.” So we filter life experiences based on what feels right or wrong, what worked or what didn’t. We judge based on the little we know. I believe we often distance ourselves from the Lord because we see Him as we see ourselves: a critic, judging our current performance compared to our last season’s performances. When we are succeeding, He is happy and things feel good, and when we are failing, He is not happy, and things feel bad. We bite the fruit of knowledge over and over again instead of eating from the Tree of Life.

I want to encourage you to lay down your need to feel certain you are succeeding as it relates to what felt right in the past. Life with Jesus is all encompassing, and we are moving from glory to glory. Please, lay down the ruler of success that you brought with you from last season. It will not measure correctly in your new one. Success is not a formula with concrete feelings attached to it. Success is trust in the One who knows your story better than you. God does not need you to prove you are becoming better than you were. Growth with Him is life with Him. It is cyclical, not linear. He is growing different parts of you at different times. Growth in the Kingdom is not like height tally marks on a wall. God is not making sure your one mark keeps getting higher. He is not comparing you to your brothers and sisters. He is not crossing His fingers for a growth spurt. He is present, loving you in this very moment. He is tending to the garden of your heart. He is caring for you more than you can comprehend. Lay down the ruler of seasons past. Only He knows what success looks like for you in this season, and I believe it is different than what you think.

Prompt: Pray this prayer: “Father, forgive me for seeing you as the critic of my heart. Forgive me for comparing my past performance with my present. I confess that you are not a God who demands performance from me. Holy Spirit, show me what growth looks like for me right now.”

Forgetfulness

"They forgot what He had done, the wonders he had shown them." - Psalm 78:11

I recently traveled to Egypt, which was an amazing experience!  While I was there I took some time to read back through parts of Exodus, which has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible.  When I stood among the ruins of ages past I was reminded of the story of the Israelites being forced to make bricks for hours each day in the hot sun.  I was surrounded by miles of sand and not a cloud in the sky to provide a break from the sun's intense heat.  I cannot imagine that kind of hard and exhausting labor day after day.

"They made their lives bitter with hard labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; and in all their hard labor the Egyptians used them ruthlessly." - Exodus 1:14

I was so hot and was just standing still, so I couldn't imagine being there and doing hard work under even worse conditions.  BUT, I was reminded that God saw His chosen people and had compassion on them and sent Moses to set them free.

"The Lord said, 'I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.'” - Exodus 3:7-10

After hundreds of years of slavery, God rescued His people and set them free.  Time after time in Exodus we see God provide and protect His people.  And time after time we see the people fall back into the same patterns of doubt and mistrust.  So much so that at some points they longed to return to the "knowns" of slavery in Egypt than to continue in the "unknowns" of the wilderness.

"In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, 'If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.'” - Exodus 16:2-3

And this kind of whining and complaining didn't happen just once or twice, but again and again.  And instead of giving up and telling the Israelites to figure it out for themselves, God repeatedly provided for the people.  This is such a beautiful reminder of how gracious and faithful God is even when I am not.  

It is so easy to read through Exodus and judge the Israelite people, but I am just like them.  The second things get hard, uncomfortable, discouraging, etc. I begin to complain and I so easily "forget what He has done."  Instead of taking time to sit down and recount His faithfulness and goodness, I clench my fists in frustration and wish for a lesser, but more familiar setting.  

Maybe today you find yourself in a wilderness season.  Maybe you are feeling doubtful, discouraged, and depleted.  Maybe today it all just seems like too much and you are longing for a lesser, but more familiar setting.  Come with me and let's remember together that He is good.  He is faithful.  He is gracious.  

"They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them.
He did miracles in the sight of their ancestors in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan.
He divided the sea and led them through; he made the water stand up like a wall.
He guided them with the cloud by day and with light from the fire all night.
He split the rocks in the wilderness and gave them water as abundant as the seas; he brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers.

But they continued to sin against him, rebelling in the wilderness against the Most High.
They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.
They spoke against God; they said, “Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?

True, he struck the rock, and water gushed out, streams flowed abundantly, but can he also give us bread?
Can he supply meat for his people?” - Psalm 78:11-20

Where Do You Look for Strength?

Strength (noun) - the quality or state of being physically strong; the capacity to withstand great force or pressure; the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult.

I don't know about you, but I want to be strong.  I want to be physically strong and push my body to do things that seem too hard to do.  I want to be emotionally strong and able to handle challenges in a healthy way.  I want to be mentally strong and able to learn and retain information easily.  I want to be spiritually strong by being so firmly rooted in Christ that I am not consumed with doubts or worries when hard things come my way.

The problem is that so often I want to do it on my own.  And unfortunately my strength is limited and really not very strong at all.  My strength wavers easily and falls back into weakness and old habits and old ways of thinking on a regular basis.  Which is why the above verse struck me when I read it recently.  It doesn't say, "Be strong in yourself and in the strength of your might."  No, instead it reminds us of where true and lasting and incredible strength comes from - the Lord.  

So, why do I forget this and try to live out of my own strength all. the. time.  Because I am prone to a mindset that focuses on depending on myself, trying harder, digging deeper, etc.  And within weeks or days or sometimes minutes I am right back at the end of my strength and the cycle continues.  But, what if I realized that when I come to the end of myself that is where I need to be reminded that in Christ I have access to strength and might and power that far surpass what I am capable of on my own.  

If you are familiar with Ephesians 6:10, you know it is the beginning of a passage about putting on the full armor of God.  I have spent some time in this passage over the past few weeks and would love to share more of what I'm learning in future posts, but in the meantime I encourage you to go read through Ephesians 6:10 - 20.  

So, what about you?  Where do you look for strength?  How's that workin' for ya?

"Praise Your Name" - Corey Voss

"Praise Your Name" - Corey Voss

Even now, I can see darkness is fading

Walls of fear, brick by brick will come down

Your light will shine, lifting me out of the shadows

Here and now, I know where my breakthrough is found

I'm gonna sing my way out of the valley

I'm gonna shout my way up to the mountain

I will take hold of the truth of Your promise

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise

I'm gonna push through 'til every lie crumbles

I'm gonna dance in the midst of the rain

I'm gonna rest in the arms of the Father

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise Your name

Oh-ohh-ohhh, I'm gonna prai-aise, oh-ohh, oh-ohh

There's a sound, welling up from within me

Heaven's power, calling hope to arise, oh-ohh

So I'm standing tall, here in the strength of Your victory, oh-ohh-ohh

'Cause when You come, every wrong is made right, ohh

I'm gonna sing my way out of the valley

I'm gonna shout my way up to the mountain

I will take hold of the truth of Your promise

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise

I'm gonna push through 'til every lie crumbles

I'm gonna dance in the midst of the rain

I'm gonna rest in the arms of the Father

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise Your name

Oh-ohh-ohhh, I'm gonna prai-aise

Fear and depression

Shame and confusion

You have to bow

You have to bow

All lesser things

That demand my attention

You have to bow

Oh, you have to bow

Fear and depression

Shame and confusion

You have to bow

Oh, you have to bow

And all lesser things

That demand my attention

You have to bow

Yeah, you have to bow

Fear and depression

Shame and confusion

You have to bow

Oh, you have to bow

And all lesser things

That demand my attention

You have to bow

Oh, you have to bow

I'm gonna sing my way out of the valley

I'm gonna shout my way up to the mountain

I will take hold of the truth of Your promise

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise

Oh and I'm gonna push through 'til every lie crumbles

I'm gonna dance in the midst of the rain

I'm gonna rest in the arms of the Father

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise-

Oh I'm gonna sing my way out of the valley

I'm gonna shout my way up to the mountain

I will take hold of the truth of Your promise

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise

Oh I'm gonna push through 'til every lie crumbles

I'm gonna dance in the midst of the rain

I'm gonna rest in the arms of the Father

I'm gonna praise, I'm gonna praise Your name