Happy New Year! I love the beginning of a new year and the hope that brings. It is like opening up to the first blank page of a journal and knowing that there is the opportunity to fill those pages with amazing experiences and lessons. The past few years I have taken some time to reflect on the previous year, while also dreaming about the possibilities in the new year. Last year I chose a verse for the year, but this year I have chosen a word… Persist. The Lord started a lot of work in me over this past year that I want to continue in.
Persist - continue firmly or obstinately in an opinion or a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or failure
Synonyms: persevere, keep at it, see/follow something through, press on/ahead, be tenacious, be patient, stand one's ground, stay the course, struggle on
What if this year was marked by persistence? What if this time next year I was full of awe and wonder at all the Lord was able to do in and through me because I chose to continue firmly in spite of difficulty and failure? What if on the hard days I chose to press on? What if I chose to be tenacious in every area of my life? How much more could I grow and see others around me grow if I decided right now in this moment that this year I will persevere?
Do you have a word for your year? If so, I'd love to know what it is!
I have been reading through a wonderful little book over the past week called Cultivate (Vol. 2) - The Clarity Winter Brings. The following is one of the writings that spoke so much to my overwhelmed and weary soul in this season.
Interested in purchasing your own copy? Click HERE.
Seasons Past - by Jessie Miller
Do you ever compare the season your heart is in now to the seasons past? Do you find yourself thinking back to a season where you felt more “together” than you do right now? Perhaps there was a time in your life when you felt like the Lord spoke to you more, or at least you listened better. Maybe your quiet time has changed its form, or your role in a community has shifted and it has left you with a feeling of guilt or shame. This guilt says that there was a time when you were able to give the Lord what He wanted, and that is no longer the case. We label ourselves as failures and falsely believe that the Lord agrees. We as humans have a desire to classify everything based on what we “know.” When something new arises, we want to connect it to things we have experienced in some way before. I believe this desire goes back to the Garden. God said, “Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:17). He knew it would be too much for us. But we did it anyway, and now we try to classify everything we experience as one or the other—good or evil, success or failure. Our perspective is so small. We can’t see the bigger picture, the “all things working together.” So we filter life experiences based on what feels right or wrong, what worked or what didn’t. We judge based on the little we know. I believe we often distance ourselves from the Lord because we see Him as we see ourselves: a critic, judging our current performance compared to our last season’s performances. When we are succeeding, He is happy and things feel good, and when we are failing, He is not happy, and things feel bad. We bite the fruit of knowledge over and over again instead of eating from the Tree of Life.
I want to encourage you to lay down your need to feel certain you are succeeding as it relates to what felt right in the past. Life with Jesus is all encompassing, and we are moving from glory to glory. Please, lay down the ruler of success that you brought with you from last season. It will not measure correctly in your new one. Success is not a formula with concrete feelings attached to it. Success is trust in the One who knows your story better than you. God does not need you to prove you are becoming better than you were. Growth with Him is life with Him. It is cyclical, not linear. He is growing different parts of you at different times. Growth in the Kingdom is not like height tally marks on a wall. God is not making sure your one mark keeps getting higher. He is not comparing you to your brothers and sisters. He is not crossing His fingers for a growth spurt. He is present, loving you in this very moment. He is tending to the garden of your heart. He is caring for you more than you can comprehend. Lay down the ruler of seasons past. Only He knows what success looks like for you in this season, and I believe it is different than what you think.
Prompt: Pray this prayer: “Father, forgive me for seeing you as the critic of my heart. Forgive me for comparing my past performance with my present. I confess that you are not a God who demands performance from me. Holy Spirit, show me what growth looks like for me right now.”
"They forgot what He had done, the wonders he had shown them." - Psalm 78:11
I recently traveled to Egypt, which was an amazing experience! While I was there I took some time to read back through parts of Exodus, which has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible. When I stood among the ruins of ages past I was reminded of the story of the Israelites being forced to make bricks for hours each day in the hot sun. I was surrounded by miles of sand and not a cloud in the sky to provide a break from the sun's intense heat. I cannot imagine that kind of hard and exhausting labor day after day.
"They made their lives bitter with hard labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; and in all their hard labor the Egyptians used them ruthlessly." - Exodus 1:14
I was so hot and was just standing still, so I couldn't imagine being there and doing hard work under even worse conditions. BUT, I was reminded that God saw His chosen people and had compassion on them and sent Moses to set them free.
"The Lord said, 'I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.'” - Exodus 3:7-10
After hundreds of years of slavery, God rescued His people and set them free. Time after time in Exodus we see God provide and protect His people. And time after time we see the people fall back into the same patterns of doubt and mistrust. So much so that at some points they longed to return to the "knowns" of slavery in Egypt than to continue in the "unknowns" of the wilderness.
"In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, 'If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.'” - Exodus 16:2-3
And this kind of whining and complaining didn't happen just once or twice, but again and again. And instead of giving up and telling the Israelites to figure it out for themselves, God repeatedly provided for the people. This is such a beautiful reminder of how gracious and faithful God is even when I am not.
It is so easy to read through Exodus and judge the Israelite people, but I am just like them. The second things get hard, uncomfortable, discouraging, etc. I begin to complain and I so easily "forget what He has done." Instead of taking time to sit down and recount His faithfulness and goodness, I clench my fists in frustration and wish for a lesser, but more familiar setting.
Maybe today you find yourself in a wilderness season. Maybe you are feeling doubtful, discouraged, and depleted. Maybe today it all just seems like too much and you are longing for a lesser, but more familiar setting. Come with me and let's remember together that He is good. He is faithful. He is gracious.
"They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them. He did miracles in the sight of their ancestors in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan. He divided the sea and led them through; he made the water stand up like a wall. He guided them with the cloud by day and with light from the fire all night. He split the rocks in the wilderness and gave them water as abundant as the seas; he brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers.
But they continued to sin against him, rebelling in the wilderness against the Most High. They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. They spoke against God; they said, “Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?
True, he struck the rock, and water gushed out, streams flowed abundantly, but can he also give us bread? Can he supply meat for his people?” - Psalm 78:11-20
Strength (noun) - the quality or state of being physically strong; the capacity to withstand great force or pressure; the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult.
I don't know about you, but I want to be strong. I want to be physically strong and push my body to do things that seem too hard to do. I want to be emotionally strong and able to handle challenges in a healthy way. I want to be mentally strong and able to learn and retain information easily. I want to be spiritually strong by being so firmly rooted in Christ that I am not consumed with doubts or worries when hard things come my way.
The problem is that so often I want to do it on my own. And unfortunately my strength is limited and really not very strong at all. My strength wavers easily and falls back into weakness and old habits and old ways of thinking on a regular basis. Which is why the above verse struck me when I read it recently. It doesn't say, "Be strong in yourself and in the strength of your might." No, instead it reminds us of where true and lasting and incredible strength comes from - the Lord.
So, why do I forget this and try to live out of my own strength all. the. time. Because I am prone to a mindset that focuses on depending on myself, trying harder, digging deeper, etc. And within weeks or days or sometimes minutes I am right back at the end of my strength and the cycle continues. But, what if I realized that when I come to the end of myself that is where I need to be reminded that in Christ I have access to strength and might and power that far surpass what I am capable of on my own.
If you are familiar with Ephesians 6:10, you know it is the beginning of a passage about putting on the full armor of God. I have spent some time in this passage over the past few weeks and would love to share more of what I'm learning in future posts, but in the meantime I encourage you to go read through Ephesians 6:10 - 20.
So, what about you? Where do you look for strength? How's that workin' for ya?
Fail - How does this word make you feel? For me, it stirs up negative emotions, anxious feelings, and frustration. Why? Because I don't want to fail. I want to be strong. I want to be able to overcome the things that challenge me.
So what does it mean to fail? According to merriam-webster.com, fail as a verb means to lose strength; to fall short; to become inadequate; to be unsuccessful; to disappoint the expectations or trust of; to be deficient in...
Under this definition you might see various images of me from last week. It was literally like everything that could go wrong, did. Imagine you wake up one morning and you walk into your kitchen to see the counter covered in ants. You open the drawer only to find evidence that a little furry friend has taken up residence in your kitchen with the ants. You want to make coffee so you go to pour water in the coffee pot, but there is not a single drop coming from the tap. You pour bottled water in the coffee maker and go to turn it on only to realize there is (still) no power. You need to talk to someone about what the problem is with your water, but alas you are surrounded by people who speak a different language and you are not equipped to fully communicate your questions.
What would you do? How would you respond?
I so wish I could tell you that I handled it all like a super Godly woman and took all of these situations in stride by turning to the Lord in fasting and prayer.
But that is not what happened. That is far from what happened.
I complained... a lot. I got really frustrated and stressed and even angry. And then I gave into bad habits to cope - I watched a lot of episodes of TV shows, I ate brownies and pizza and popcorn and french toast, I quit exercising because I couldn't shower, and then because all of those things just distracted me for a time and didn't really help I finally (and begrudgingly) brought it all to the Lord. And do you know what? It helped. Did it solve all of my problems? Nope, but it gave me perspective and helped me to realize some things. Not only had I let all of these things impact me greatly, but I had then spread my bad mood and bad attitude to the people around me.
I failed.
BUT - instead of sinking further into self-pity the Lord reminded me that even when I fail, I am not a failure. Even when I fail, He remains steadfast and true. Even when I fail, His mercy remains. So I got over myself and decided to accept His mercy and try again. So yesterday, I ate vegetables, I exercised, I studied language, I focused on things I could be thankful for and I had a different attitude.
So dear friend, maybe today you need to be reminded of a few things:
You will fail, but that doesn't make you a failure.
You can fail a thousand times, but the Lord's mercy remains forever.
Today is a new day. Try again. Don't give in and don't give up.
If God is in control of every aspect of your world and his grace covers all your sin, why would you ever give way to fear?
There are many things I wish were true about me:
I wish I could say that I’m never afraid, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that worry never interrupts my sleep, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I never wonder what God is doing, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I never give way to envy, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I am always aware that God is near, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I never wonder, “If only ______________,” but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I never dread what’s around the corner, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that I always have peace in my heart, but I can’t.
I wish I could say that all that I do is done out of faith and not fear, but I can’t.
You see, I have come to be very aware that although I know the Bible and its doctrine well, the battle between fear and faith still goes on in my heart. Here’s what this means at street level. It is important to understand why fear still lives in the life of a believer in the hallways, kitchens, bedrooms, family rooms, workrooms, and vans of everyday life. You could argue that he or she has every reason to be free of fear, that fear should be an artifact of a former civilization. So why the continued struggle with fear?
Fear lives and rules in the heart of a believer who has forgotten God’s sovereignty and grace. If left to myself, I should be afraid. There are many trials, temptations, dangers, and enemies in this fallen world that are bigger and more powerful than me. I have to deal with many things that are outside my control. But the message of the gospel is that I haven’t been left to myself, that Immanuel is with me in sovereign authority and powerful grace. He rules with perfect wisdom over all the circumstances and locations that would make me afraid. In grace, he blesses me with what I need to face what he has decided to put on my plate. I am never – in anything, anywhere, at any time – by myself. I never arrive on the scene first. I never step into a situation that exists outside his control. I never move beyond the reach of his authority. He is never surprised by where I end up or by what I am facing. He never leaves me to the limited resources of my own wisdom, strength, and righteousness. He never grows weary with protecting and providing for me. He will never abandon me out of frustration. I do not need to be afraid. When you forget God’s sovereignty and his grace, you give room in your heart for fear to do its nasty, debilitating work. Pray right now for grace to remember. Your sovereign Savior loves to hear and answer.
