Refining Fire

Many times in the Bible we hear of God using fire, or even appearing as fire to get the attention of his people.  I was reading the other day and came across a passage with the specific image of refining fire.  I am a visual learner so I was struck by the image of gold being refined in a fire and what that process looks like, so I fell into the black hole that is Google and researched this process.  The expected outcome is pure gold, but in order to reach that goal, a tedious and time-consuming process must take place.  Impurities must be removed, which can be done using extremely high heat.  As the liquid heats up, the impurities can be skimmed off the surface. This part of the process may be repeated many times to make sure that all of the impurities are removed.

I feel like I am in a season of refining fire and, friends, I have been here before... many times.  I have asked for God to move in my life and transform my mind, body, and heart, but then the heat gets turned up or I lose my desire to stay in the fire - so I bail.  This has looked different in different areas of weakness, but I long to see the beautiful outcome of staying in the fire and allowing all of my impure thoughts, attitudes, habits, etc. to rise to the surface so the Lord can remove them for good.

I read an article from John Piper titled "He Is Like a Refiner's Fire" which gives even more importance to the symbolic use of a refining fire:

"He is a refiner's fire, and that makes all the difference. A refiner's fire does not destroy indiscriminately like a forest fire. A refiner's fire does not consume completely like the fire of an incinerator. A refiner's fire refines. It purifies. It melts down the bar of silver or gold, separates out the impurities that ruin its value, burns them up, and leaves the silver and gold intact. He is like a refiner's fire."

No matter how hot the fire gets, it will not destroy me.  Y'all I am sitting in Panera and trying to hold it together as the weight of that sinks in.  Jesus, I want to be purified.  I want to allow the refining of your fire to consume my heart and my mind.  

Friend, what do you need to submit to the fire?  Maybe you are like me and you've been in that fire before and this feels like the 176th time he is skimming those impurities from the surface, but let's resist the urge to jump out and run back to our old habits and ways of thinking.  Let's stick it out this time.  Let's experience the refining fire together.

Spirit Power vs. Self Power

I don't know about you, but I am weak... on many levels.  Last week in physical therapy, my therapist asked me to stand on one leg.  I giggled and sadly confessed that I can't balance on one foot when I haven't had surgery, much less on a weakened ankle.  Nothing shows you how weak your core is like trying to do anything that requires balance.

I'm also weak when it comes to getting up when my alarm goes off earlier so I can really study my Bible and spend time in prayer before my day begins.  One snooze turns into ten snoozes and me rushing out the door with barely enough time to brush my teeth, much less sit still at the throne of Jesus.

And like I shared last week, I'm weak when it comes to food.  I LOVE Mexican food.  I was getting dinner one night over the weekend with a friend and she asked if I wanted to get Mexican.  I told her "No" because right now I am trying to be conscious of triggers that cause me to overeat and chips and salsa rank at the top of that list.  Even if I said I would only eat a serving - I knew in that moment I was too weak to follow through on that.  So I said "No".  Sometimes we have to say "No" to things we want, that honestly are harmless, but can set us on a path to destruction in our weakened flesh.  And do you know where the ability to say "No" came from?  I wish I could tell you that it came from my own self control and mighty strength, but that'd be a lie.  It came from the power of the Holy Spirit that is living inside me.  Sometimes I listen to His voice and sometimes I don't.  But I'm trying to live in tune with His voice, especially in this area of my life.

"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you." - Romans 8:11

Yesterday we celebrated Easter - the day that Jesus rose from the grave and overcame sin and death for all time. ROSE FROM THE DEAD. Like his body was dead and had been laying silent and still and then he sat up like he'd been taking a long nap and took off his grave clothes and stood on his own two nail pierced feet and WALKED OUT OF THE TOMB by the power of Spirit. Y'all - that's the kind of power I want to tap into. Choosing an apple over a brownie seems pretty small compared with overcoming death. But, I DO have access to that kind of power. I just don't utilize it. I am praying daily right now that the Lord would show me how to know more of the Spirit and how to fully experience his power.

So, what about you?  What area of your life do you need to experience some of that Spirit power in?  What is something that you need to say "No" to right now in order to move in a healthy direction?  It's hard, but dear one, it's so worth it.

What's In Your Blank?

Some days just really stink.  Like those days when you get a ticket on your way to work, your computer won't work right, you spill tomato soup on your white shirt, and get a nasty email to end the day.  On those days I just want to _________ .

What's in your blank?  Drink a bottle of wine, take a 3 hour nap, binge Netflix, go shopping, eat a dozen donuts or maybe scroll through sites on your computer that you know you shouldn't look at, whip out those painkillers from a previous injury,  etc.

What if... that thing in your blank wasn't your first response?  What if something much more life-giving was the first thing you turned to?  Wouldn't that make things better and not just provide an hour or two of distracted enjoyment while the frustration and disappointment of the day still sit by waiting for you to return to reality?  I'd love that too!  It sounds so easy doesn't it?  Pick up my Bible instead of another donut.  Turn on some worship instead of Netflix.  But, Jesus says, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." - Matthew 26:41.  Jesus spoke this to some of his disciples the night that he would be arrested.  He had gone away to pray and asked that they pray with him, but they gave into their flesh and fell asleep, when what they needed to do was persevere in prayer.  Wow, how many times have I given into my flesh when I should have persevered in prayer?  Too many to count, that's how many.  I have been on a journey to learn more about the Holy Spirit and what it really means to be led by the Spirit.  One thing I'm learning is that it means I become more aware of my flesh and how easily I give into its desires.  And I have to make a choice - give into my flesh or wage war by giving in to the Spirit.  Some days I feel strong enough to wage war and others I give in easily.

So what's in my blank?  At different points in my life it's looked different, but the one consistent thing that I so easily struggle with is food.  Your blank probably looks different, but I bet that a lot of the roots are the same.  My relationship with food is a tangled web - that got knotted, covered in glue, and sprinkled with glitter.  In other words - it's a hot mess and sometimes I just don't want to deal with it because I HATE glitter and it's gonna require patience that I don't have to try to get through the layers of glitter and glue and begin trying to untangle all of those knots.  BUT, I don't have to do it alone, which makes it seem so much more doable.  I realize now that I have the Holy Spirit right there with me, speaking to me, helping me, and strengthening me when I feel weak.  I'll continue to share this journey with you, but for now here I am in the "messy middle" and today I'm choosing to wage war by giving into the Holy Spirit.

So, what's in your blank?  Tell someone.  The more we speak out about our struggles, the less power they have over us.

Welcome!

Welcome to The Messy Middle!  I'm so glad you're here!  I hope you will find honesty, encouragement and community here.  If you are in your own "messy middle" and fighting a battle or just continuing to deal with the same nagging issue you've dealt with forever, you are not alone.  A few weeks ago I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to start this blog - not only for me (as a way to process all that I am learning through my own "messy middle"), but also for you (as a way to encourage others who are in a same season of surrender). 

I'll share more about my specific struggles, but for now... what is "The Messy Middle"?  I recently read "It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointment Leaves You Shattered" by Lysa TerKeurst.  She uses the term "messy middle" in her book and explains how she wrote the book in the middle of some hard stuff when she says,

"I knew that I wanted to write the message, but I didn't know how the story was going to unfold or how it would turn out, so I was forced to write from that messy middle place.  But I think it's a gift to the reader because that's where most all of us live.  Most of us don't live with every circumstance in our lives tied up in a neat, nice bow when we're singing "Kumbaya" and just having a praise party over all circumstances.  We've either just been through some really hard stuff or in the middle of hard stuff or we're headed to some hard stuff.  I guess people would say, "Well, that's not very positive."  No, I'm positive.  We've either been through hard stuff, we're in it or we're headed to it."  

For the full article, click HERE.

So, here I am in my own messy middle.  About 3 months ago I had a freak accident when I broke my ankle and had to have surgery.  Since then I have been dealing with recovery, which is slow.  But this time has also provided space for the Lord to deal with some of my junk.  Fun, right?  Lemme tell you, it's been a party.  But, in the midst of my junk, the Lord has reminded me that He is with me, He is for me, and that NOTHING is too hard for Him.

What can you expect?
1) Honesty - I have learned that the more I shed light on the mess, it loses its power to continue controlling me.  I LOVE transparency and rawness in others, especially in this day and age of polished and perfect social media.

2) Encouragement - No one wants to just read about the mess.  We all long to experience peace and freedom from the things that weigh us down.  I'll be sharing encouragement I have received from God's Word, others, music, books, podcasts, etc.

3) Community - I'd love to hear your own messy middle story.  Let's grab coffee or Skype or email and walk this journey alongside each other.

My goal is to have a new blog post by each Wednesday, but there will probably be more than that in these next few weeks.  So make sure, you subscribe to the blog so you can see the latest posts.  You can also follow along on my Instagram page for encouraging posts!